In Memory of Jack Kane

by Dave Larson

Jeff looked around the wake, ‘Nice turnout.”

Kenny added, “Jack was great entertainment. Buy him two beers, and he’d tell the best stories.”

I spoke, “I loved his story of how we beat the Russkies at the battle of Little Big Horn. Or when he took out a unit of Belgium chocolatiers in Korea.”

Jeff wondered, “How many beers did people buy him over the years”?

Kenny mussed, “Who knows. The man died penniless; everybody bought him a beer.”

Jeff spoke, “Did he commit suicide? I can’t imagine someone killing him.”

I added, “My friend Arnie, the policeman, said the coroner said he died from too many sleeping pills.”

Kenny added, “That sounds like suicide to me. Why would he kill himself”?

Jeff wondered, “Who are those four women with the fur stoles”?

I told my friends, “Those are his ex-wives.”

Jeff said, “Wow, do you think one of them killed him”?

I said, “I heard there are a million reasons to kill him. Becca at the bank says he had over four million dollars.”

I continued, “Beverly, who works at the lawyer’s office, says each of those women gets a fourth of his estate.”

Kenny questioned, “Did he spawn any children. He must not if only the ex-wife’s get the money.”

“Beverly also told me there is a bastard son, one he refused to support or even acknowledge.”

Jeff pondered, “I wonder if any of these men are his son. They could have gotten him drunk and poured the bottle of pills down his throat.”

Kenny added, “I don’t know which is worse, not taking care of your child or dumping a bottle of sleeping pills down Jack’s throat.”

Jeff studied the women, “I bet one of the ex-wives did him in. Did Arnie tell you how many pills he took?”

“It was the whole bottle; he choked to death.”

Kenny gasped, “I’d say he died on his vomit.”

“No, he died with the plastic pill bottle stuck in his throat.”

Jeff questioned, “How could someone cram the whole bottle into his throat”?

I didn’t say a word. Jack wouldn’t swallow the pills, so I shoved the bottle down his throat. Do you know me now, Jack?


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Dave Larson is best known for his research and writing on baseball history in the early 1900s. He has been published both online and in journals. He lives in the Orlando, FL. area. 

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