By Lefcothea-Maria Golgaki
Another night of unnerving sleep, another night he wished the waves of searing pain would cease. He swears, it wasn’t meant to be like this. He still remembers the first time it came to him. Its strong presence had left him with a peaceful feeling that had overcome him. The kind of peace and calmness you experience when everything is so quiet and you are grateful that you no longer listen to your sobering thoughts. It had tricked him so well with the weasel words it kept whispering in his ear. Those soothing words that offered him consolation from a world that was forever reluctant to welcome his otherness, when everybody else had rejected his complex nature as it wore the badge of being problematic. How couldn’t he be grateful as it offered him the acceptance he craved for? So, it gradually found its way into his affection to the point he was anticipating for the night to come. -such folly of illusion-
Because now he tries not to lose his reason and the more he strives to prevail upon, the more embroiled he becomes in a self-destructive state. Yes, he is certain that its “services” are no longer required. All the same, it gains ground while coming, calling his name. He holds his head in his hands and thinks to himself how fool he was to believe it would someday unchain him. Ηis dreams have turned into nightmares, writhed in absolute agony as he is, tantalized by its power over him. “Leave me, hunt me no more. I am begging you to release the grasp of my mind! I have never sought these disturbing nights.” That was the last desperate appeal he had made, thinking that it would honor the agreement, it had to. But it keeps coming and coming. Hard as he tries to keep it away, it continues to threaten every bit of his soul. His thoughts have become disquieting, sobering. He takes s fleeting glimpse of what he craves; his freedom. Somehow, there is an impression of chaos and disorder in the house and this inky pressing darkness penetrates his soul. Tonight, he resolves there is no other way but to kill it and remove the burden of this sin. The answer is kept underneath his pillow in a final act which awaits to be performed. The moment has come! He feigns deep sleep while it leans over his head once again to whisper these words that give off the putrid smell of insanity. He takes out the sharp knife which he has so cleverly kept is presence hidden. The blow is hard and the loud scream that is heard echoes like a high-pitched wail. “I hate you!” it shrills, and then nothing but a void stillness which dominates the bedroom.
He opens his eyes to discover it has disappeared. Indeed, he cannot feel it any more. Such a victorious action! Yet, there is a body which lies on the ground, it is his.
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Lefcothea-Maria was born in 1977 and lives in Athens, Greece. She has been involved in the field of ELT for the past 23 years and at the same time works as a freelance writer. Her first poetry collection was published by Adelaide Literary Magazine in 2019. Part of that collection also appeared in Mediterranean Poetry, Aphelion webzine, Eskimo Pie and Down in the Dirt magazine. One of her poems also appeared in Adelaide Literary Award Anthology. Finally, her article ‘Life of uncertainty’ has been published by The Sentinel and Tri-town Tribune. In Greece, she writes children’s books and her articles appear in online magazines.