A Memoir by Sisi Afrika
I am raised in a society that tells me what is right and what is wrong. This society is never wrong so if it tells you something is right, then it must be right. And if it tells you something is wrong, then it must be wrong.
I am told I can never find love in a certain body, a body that is exactly like mine in every way; if I do, then it is wrong.
Who better to understand my soul, my mind and of course my body other than that someone else who shares exactly the same structure that serves as a vessel for my soul? Sharing the same body is a bond in itself that cannot be shared with someone who does not understand my physical body realities.
I am told the love I have for someone who has the exact same body I have is wrong.
How can it be wrong to love a mirror image of myself? How can it be wrong to love MY body but in a separate vessel? How can it be wrong to be attracted to everything I see in myself each time I look in the mirror? Why am I being forcefully and socially conditioned to hate myself by hating another woman I am attracted to? Why is the love for humanity being restricted to love certain body forms and be repulsed by someone sharing my body type?
The society tells me what’s wrong and what’s right quite alright but I have always had my own mind; and so when I had my first kiss from a girl, I smiled all the way home.
Because that was not wrong. It felt right, it felt like I was home. It felt like my body found an ally in another human, my cells calling to hers for unity, for support, for some steamy orgasm.
I am not here to argue whether the society is always right or always wrong.
However, I am here to say love cannot only be found in people who do not share my body or gender identity, love can be found also in people who share the same body as mine.
I will not let go of a person with a beautiful soul and a sound mind just because of the vessel encompassing their essence.
The society is wrong, on this one, after all.
Love can be found in anyBODY.
Sisí Afrika is a professional Nigerian writer with a self-published book to her credit. She is a feminist activist and a narrative therapist.