By Hemant Kulkarni

“Look! There’s a lone human! I think, Male,” Pom said and the screen zoomed on the human. The man was squatting behind a bush, his pants down, dragging a stick in the soil in front of him. “Let’s do something fun.”

“No!” Req replied. “We already have a lot of data from our previous missions. You know how long it takes to open up this planet’s animals. Besides this one isn’t dead.” Req paused. “Look, we have completed our tasks. Let’s fly up to the mothership now.” Req operated the computer with its wiry appendages. A collection of sealed metal containers slid into chambers as white gas hissed out.

“I am not talking about studying his body.” Pom said. “I have something else in mind.”

The Intergalactic Biological Exploration Agency had assigned Pom and Req to this star. This agency was aware of the independent life that had arose and evolved on the third planet from this ordinary star. Previous missions over millions of years had classified and categorized most of the life forms. So Pom and Req had to update the existing data and discover new species, while not violating any Celestial Lifeform Protections.

“It is boring,” Req said.

“Trust me. These are the second most fun animals to play with. Perhaps, we can observe something new which we can report.” Pom tried to find something to influence Req with.

“We don’t have time for this. We only have a few days before we head out of this system. We have a ton of reports to complete before that.”

“I know. This is pure fun. Relax your back a bit.” Pom said. Req slumped in its pod in agreement. “Let’s bring him in,” Pom muttered, then commanded the computer: “Cap, translate what I say to this human.”

“Predicting the human’s language based on the geographical location,” Cap responded. “Ready.”

Pom realised a sudden booming voice from the sky would spook the defecating human. Their hovercraft was invisible of course. “Do we have gold nuggets on board, Cap?” Pom asked. Req looked at Pom, puzzled.

“No, we don’t,” Cap replied.

“Grrrr, we should always have some gold handy for this planet, Cap,” Pom said. “Can you spray some dirt and make it look and feel like gold?”

“Give me a moment.”

“The human might walk away anytime now,” Req chimed in studying the human on the screen.

“Here it is.” Cap said and opened a hatch containing a metal plate with glinting gold nuggets.

Pom examined the plate. “Looks like gold. Please drop this on the ground in front of the human.”

“Understood.”

And they saw some ground dust rise into a little cloud as the gold nuggets dropped in front of the human. The human squealed and collapsed to the side pulling up his pants.

“He will now run away,” Req grunted.

Pom fixated on the screen for signs of success. The human got up and came close to the scattered nuggets that shone like little starlight on the ground. He squinted up in the sky, scanned the surroundings and inched closer. He reached out cautiously and grabbed a handful of the nuggets. A huge smile stretched across his face as he weighed the gold in his hand. Pom tapped its wiry appendages on its body in delight.

The human stood up and cast around a suspicious eye while covering his hands.

“Alright, Cap,” Pom said. ”Now tell him what I say.”

A sudden voice boomed from the sky. “This is a gift for you, for your good deeds.” Pom was shivering in excitement.

The human squinted up at the sky. He turned around in circles but couldn’t locate their hovercraft.

“We mean you no harm.” Pom said. “Would you like more gold?”

The human looked down at his hands, then turned up and nodded with a smile.

“Oh, so easy!” Pom cackled at Req. “The only animal of this planet that we can’t lured by food!”

“And they call themselves intelligent,” Req added.

“Cap, tell him this: You will now see a door appear ahead of you. Walk inside to get your gold.” After Cap voiced the message, Pom said, ”Now, land us near the human and open the hatch to let the human in.”

The human spun some more, unable to spot any door in the vicinity when they landed on the ground. The human retreated and almost collapsed, his eyes on the sudden crushed crops. The air let out a sudden hiss and a large dark rectangle materialized and expanded before him. The human froze in his place and gasped at the opening in thin air. His eyes darted around and then back at the door.

“Do not worry. You are a good man. Come inside.” Cap voiced lowering the volume.

The human took a couple of hesitant steps and inspected what the door presented him. The door presented a small unlit chamber, a dark rectangle suspended in the air. Around the door the world remained usual.

“Cap, please turn on the lights in the chamber. And show him a pile of gold as the humans like it.”

A large glowing pile of gold coins appeared in the chamber. The human gulped looking at the sight through the opening.

“He won’t come in,” Req said, annoyed.

A frozen silence hung around them penetrated only by a breeze and the low hum of the craft. The human took another step and climbed up the ramp through the door. Pom cast a slow glance at Req, who waved its head.

“Good! Now what should we make him do?” Pom asked Req.

“What?” snapped Req. “I thought you had a plan!”

“I wanted to have some fun, not a plan. Now, give me some ideas.” Pom said. “Should we make him dance?”

“Grrrr. Did you lure him aboard only to see him dance?” Req growled.

“Alright, yes.” Pom said. They glanced at the screen. The man walked around the pile of gold and stealing glances at the open door through which a tree waved in daylight. Pom then added, “Let’s give him one of our guns and see what he does.”

“Everyone in this galaxy can tell what he will do. He will vaporize and obliterate everyone who doesn’t obey him and take over the world. If not he, someone else will. They will fight for the gun’s control for perpetuity.” Req said.

“Right.”

“Besides, it may violate some Celestial Lifeform Protections.”

“Let’s make him a king and see what he does.” Pom said.

“How? We cannot do that without exposing ourselves to humanity. And making him into a king might take years to unfold.” Req tapped at the time of their departure from this solar system.

Pom clicked in disapproval of his own idea. “You shoot some ideas.”

“I would like to see him run around the world. But given their speed, we’ll have to wait years of Earth time. Won’t work.”

The human tried to pick the gold coins, but it slipped through his hand like air. His other hand held onto the gold nuggets. “Wh– What is this?” The man stammered.

“I have it! A perfect idea to entertain us for few days.” Pom said and then turned to the computer.

In the chamber, Cap addressed the human: “It is all the gold you will get, but, you have to do something first.”

“What?” The human’s eyes widened. He squeezed the gold in his hands.

“Go and convince the world that we, ‘aliens’, exist.”

“I like that one.” Req said.

“That’s it?” The human asked.

“Yes.” Cap said. And Pom shivered again in delight.

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Hemant is a budding writer and Project Manager in the IT industry with a fervent passion for delving into the complex intricacies of human behavior and societal dynamics through his writing. Hemant shares his creative journey and literary musings on Twitter at @randomhemant.